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Cartman

Freeletics week 19 and I AM VERY SORRY

I owe you an apology, reader. Well, I don’t. I don’t owe you anything. I mean, this place is free. It might be appallingly written garbage that reads like the insane rantings of a man that has been chained to a radiator for fifteen years, BUT IT IS FREE. And you can’t argue with that. […]

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closed

Summing up and shutting down (for a bit)

Hey! It’s you! How you doing? Great to see you! Make yourself comfortable! But get your fucking feet off the coffee table. Can I get you a drink? No, we haven’t got any Early Grey. We’ve got Yorkshire Tea. Yes, they DO grow tea in Yorkshire, actually. In Leeds. What’s that? You’re interested in how I’m getting […]

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WE ARE UNDER ATTACK

Bloody hell. I woke up with a start at about 6.30am yesterday. This was caused by the rapid introduction of my wife’s elbow into my ribcage, followed by her hissing “turn your bloody phone off, it’s going mad”. It was on silent and not set to vibrate, so I didn’t turn it off. I didn’t […]

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Freeletics coach

Freeletics 15 week coach – week 5

It’s 9am. I am awake. The sun is streaming in through an ineffectual Welsh curtain. I’m having trouble focusing on anything, which I put down to the fact that my eyes feel like they are actually pulsating. There is a fly buzzing around the room, the noise of which seems to make the pain in […]

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