Cartman

Freeletics week 19 and I AM VERY SORRY

I owe you an apology, reader. Well, I don’t. I don’t owe you anything. I mean, this place is free. It might be appallingly written garbage that reads like the insane rantings of a man that has been chained to a radiator for fifteen years, BUT IT IS FREE. And you can’t argue with that. I haven’t put any adverts on it, despite the fact I’m getting good traffic SO WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

An apology, presumably. Since I’ve already stated that I owe you one. So here it is: sorry. When I fired this blog up again, I made a solemn vow to myself that I would update it every Monday, without fail. If I could go back in time and see the me that made that solemn vow to myself, I would punch both of us in the face. I kept up with it for a while, but life (that is, working life) has intervened to make it that bit more difficult.

HOWEVER. You’re not that bloody hard done by. I mean technically, I have not missed a week. And even though it clearly no longer Monday and is, in fact, Thursday, I AM STILL IN THE CORRECT WEEK. This is getting out of hand. Basically what I’m saying is don’t start sending me abusive messages if my posts become somewhat less regular than clockwork. You can send me abusive messages about anything else, just not that. I thrive on verbal abuse, I’m like Cartman at the end of the South Park movie.

Anyway, I’m not complaining. For once. The fact that I’ve got less time on my hands is a direct reflection of the fact that work is going well. And if work’s going well, that means that my family isn’t starving to death. Which I’m sure you’d agree is a good thing (unless you’d actually met them). Just kidding! They’re perfectly adequate as far as family members go. Sure they annoy the piss out of me 24/7 and leave me mired in a cesspool of seething resentment, but that’s part of their charm. I’d better say something about Freeletics.

Week 19 then. Here it is. Was. Here.

Day one: Gaia (strength)

Day two: Dione (standard)

Day three: 2x Metis (strength)

Day four: 2x Metis (standard)

It’s always nice to start off your new coach week by shouting “YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING JOKING” at a computer. Because any full version of Gaia means pain and suffering, but ten full rounds of the strength version is just awful. I’d never done this before. I hope never to have to do it again. Once more I was really struggling to maintain motivation throughout the workout, but I got through it somehow. I’m definitely in a bit of a dip in terms of motivation at the moment, even easier, quicker workouts are a pain in the arse. I supposed the best thing I can say is that I saw it through to the end, but the high jumps weren’t especially high and the froggers were not especially froggy. Bizarrely, the burpee squat jumps, despite being arguably the hardest bit of the workout, were the only thing I really did properly. Still hate them. 35:15, which is obviously a no-starred PB.

Dione then. Bit of a love/hate relationship with this one. My wife maintains that it’s ‘alright’. I wouldn’t go that far. It’s nowhere near Kentauros or Gaia in terms of all round awfulness, but for some reason I find it to be a real slog. My time was average (34:47) and so was I. Forgettable.

Metis strength. TIMES TWO. Bloody hell. It’s one of those deceptive little bastards, this. On the one hand, you go into it knowing that whatever happens, it will all be over in under twenty minutes. The first round of ten positively zips by. By the time I was about halfway through my first 25 burpee squat jumps, I was cursing myself, the inventor of Freeletics and anyone on earth that I thought or suspected was fitter than me. It’s properly hard, and it wasn’t over in under twenty minutes either. It took me 20:21 and I was done. Finished. Broken. Bollocksed. Buggered. Er… Beaten. Can’t think of any more.

The week was rounded off with standard Metis times two, and I suppose that was ok. I managed to do it in 12:52 (PB*), and although I was seriously flagging at the end, it was a decent enough way to end another tough week.

But yeah, motivation… I can’t put my finger on why exactly, but I am finding Freeletics incredibly difficult right now. I don’t have the same will or positive feelings about it pre-workout, and although I’m always satisfied when I’ve finished and pleased to have made the effort, it’s never quite enough to compensate for the way I feel during the workouts themselves. I’m like the opposite of a motivational poster at the moment. If I was on one, it would be a picture of me drinking lager and saying “some things are just not worth the effort”. I’m obviously hoping that this is just a little phase, and that it will get better. There’s no chance of me giving up, but it would be nice to get back to gleaning some sort of pleasure from it.

I’ve been here before with running and managed to work my way out the other side, and I’m sure this will be no different. Hope not anyway. Perhaps when I’m able to get back to doing workouts outside it will improve. If not, expect another forty-or-so posts with me being a properly miserable bastard. You lucky, lucky things!

In keeping with my earlier half-baked apology, here’s another: I won’t be here next week so no post. I will be by the sea, probably doing that thing English people do which is eating ice cream in the rain and trying to kick seagulls in their stupid faces. Let’s hope I come back in a better mood, eh?

I love you all dearly. Now fuck off.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditShare on Google+Email this to someonePrint this page

, , ,