So, here we are then. I took the plunge. No turning back. No excuses. Well, possibly some excuses, we’ll see how it goes. But the bottom line was that, having enjoyed my first experience with Freeletics, it was time to step things up a bit. (I’m starting to sound like some kind of hideous motivational cock end. Sorry about that. I will try and keep it to a minimum.
Anyway, I bought the Freeletics Coach. It was about £32, give or take. I’d kind of hoped that there would be some kind of fanfare to announce and celebrate my arrival. There wasn’t. I’d also hoped that a ton of new features would open up on the app and the desktop version. They didn’t. I did, however, get immediate access to all the workouts. This was probably not a very good thing, since I was immediately crapping myself after scanning through some of them. One-handed push-ups? Do I look like Rocky? Okay, my mouth does go a bit droopy if I’m really, really drunk, but that’s where the similarities end.
Naturally I was keen to see what the first week would bring, and to be honest I was a little bit disappointed. I’d opted for the ‘strength and cardio’ version of the coach, and having already done the three ‘free’ weeks, I’d hoped to be diving straight in. Instead, what I got was a series of Max workouts, which was explained as being necessary in order to set benchmarks and assess my fitness. But given that I’d done nearly all of them already, it didn’t seem that worthwhile to me. Still, no point questioning things at this early stage, so I did as I was told. The week broke down like this.
Workout 1: Burpee Max and pull up Max
Workout 2: Squat Max and push up Max
Workout 3: Sit up Max, pull up Max and burpee Max
Workout 4: Aphrodite
Despite my being a little bit embarrassed about posting my results (because they’re a bit shit), I’ve decided I’m going to do it. Mainly in the hope that if anyone else old and farty like me reads this blog, they will see that it’s possible to start of f being a bit rubbish and make good progress. Well, here’s what happened.
Workout 1: Burpee Max: 52 (with star) pull up Max 10 (no star)
To reiterate, the ‘star’ version of the exercise is given for doing each repetition in the ‘proper’ way, as shown on the Freeletics website. I was pleased with the burpee Max, although I was nearly dead at the end of it. My tactic was to start as fast as I could, go as long as possible without stopping for a breather and seeing what happened. It worked pretty well. The pull up Max was a complete fucking farce. I’m not strong enough to heave my useless body up from the locked arms position, so ended up doing the modified version where you have a little jump at the bar. I suspect I look stupid when I’m doing this. Still, I could really feel it in my arms once I’d finished, so it must have been doing some good.
Workout 2: Squat Max 145 (no star) push up Max 32 (no star). I didn’t give myself a star on the squats because I suspected I wasn’t going deep enough. However, having videoed myself, I am. So I could have had that star. Wevs, as my daughter said to me the other day. (It means ‘whatever’, apparently.) The push up Max was also the modified version where you pivot on your knees. It was a bit too easy, and I resolved not to do any more modified push ups after that.
Workout 3: Sit up Max 101 (star), pull up Max 13 (no star OBVIOUSLY), burpee Max 47 (star). Really pleased with the sit ups. When I started doing the free workouts, I could only do about 50 in the proper way before my feet started coming up. The 101 here was pretty comfortable, albeit slower at the end. Pull ups: still shit. Marginally less shit. Burpee Max was a bit of a kick in the balls. Maybe I just didn’t have the energy, but I was nowhere near beating my PB.
Workout 4: Aphrodite 35:09 (star). WOO! This is where I start high-fiving myself and generally acting the twat. But fuck it, I don’t care. When I first did Aphrodite, it took me over 50 minutes and I felt like was dying. I still felt like I was dying after this one, but to do it 15 minutes quicker was really pleasing.
So that was my first week of coach. It was a little bit of an anticlimax, but great to finish on a high with that Aphrodite session. The downside of all this? I only ran twice in the week, and neither of those runs were particularly impressive. I’m hoping that I’ll start seeing the benefit of these workouts in my running eventually, but right now it’s not making a lot of difference. Well it is, actually. I’m getting worse at running. Perhaps it’s just my body’s way of reminding me that I’m an impossibly ancient fool.
Week 2 post coming soon.
I’ve just realised that I forgot to add a video of what helped me through my workouts this week. Disaster. Well, it was all about Nitzer Ebb in week one. And if you’re looking for something with a little bit of aggression and bite, you can do no better.