Oh dear, I’m already getting behind with these updates aren’t I? I’m absolutely SHIT when it comes to writing things regularly. Well, whatever. I’m going to lie by publishing it retrospectively, which will make it look like I was really on top of things. Nothing could be further from the truth, as I’m actually writing this half way through week 5. Week 5! Useless bloody fool. If I’m going to keep these updates, er, up, then I probably need to make them a bit shorter. It’s often the thought of having to bang out a thousand words that leads me to procrastinate for days on end, so expect this post to be mercifully brief. Anyway. Week 3.
Week 3! It’s Week 3! Yes it fucking is, shut up. Let’s have a look and see what was in store for me, what absurd movements I would be making in an effort to be a bit less of a fat bastard. Here’s what the coach gave me.
Workout 1: Poseidon & Metis
Workout 2: Metis & Poseidon (CAN YOU SEE WHAT THEY HAVE DONE HERE)
Workout 3: Venus
Workout 4: Poseidon & Metis
Not, on the face of it, the most interesting week ever. Here are my results.
Workout 1: Poseidon 7:24 (PB, no star) Metis 8:19. Poseidon is a strength workout consisting of push ups and pull ups. Since I’m still (and possibly always will be) SHITE at pull ups, I concentrated on doing as many proper push ups as I could. There was a bit of improvement. My Metis time here was rubbish. Nothing more to say.
Workout 2: Metis 7:21 (PB, star) Poseidon 7:15 (PB, no star). Better! This is the good thing about Freeletics. You look and feel like a two ton poo when you’re doing some of these workouts, but beating your best time with good form (as I did here with Metis) is a great feeling.
Workout 3: Venus 37:06 (PB, no star). Venus rhymes with penis. Which is apt, because that’s what I look like when I try to do jackknifes. An absolute penis. The other aspects of the workout (push ups and deep squats) are fine, but bloody hell, I just cannot do jackknifes. I should explain that I can’t even touch my toes. I am the least flexible person on earth, with the possible exception of one of the two regular readers of this blog (HELLO JOEL). Anyway, Venus is four rounds of 50 push ups, 20 Jackknifes and 50 deep squats. All I can say about this is that I set a time. But I think that next time I do it, I’m going to replace the jackknifes with 50 sit ups, because quite frankly it was farcical.
Workout 4: Poseidon 7.00 (PB, no star) Metis 8:25. More of the same. Disappointed with my Metis time BUT THAT IS LIFE.
So there you have it. That was week 4. It was alright I s’pose. Up and down with my times, which I guess is to be expected. The main thing I tried to develop this week was better form for longer in my push ups, and I think I made really good progress. Again, I’m writing this a couple of weeks later but I recall thinking that I was starting to see some change in the shape of my arms and chest.
Right, I’m off to do the Week 4 post and try to catch up. Here’s a bit of Rob Clouth you ungrateful WRETCHES.