Freeletics week 9: winter training sucks BALLS

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I’m a summer person. Actually I quite like the spring as well. The autumn (or ‘fall’ if you’re a mental) isn’t too bad either. And I suppose winter has its good points. Basically what I’m saying is that I hold each of the four seasons in comparatively high regard. But there is a problem. The problem is this: I live in England. And it rains a lot in England. Now, I’ve nothing against rain. Condensed atmospheric moisture falling from the sky in droplets is fine and fucking dandy if you ask me. Wouldn’t be without it (unless I was Sandman). But there are times when it can be a right pain in the anus. (Can you see where this is going I AM TALKING ABOUT FREELETICS AGAIN.)

Looking at my diary over recent weeks, two things become clear. Firstly, the fact that I choose to keep a diary of my exercise marks me out as a kind of pathetic, desperate individual. Secondly, that there are quite a few workouts I did over the summer that I haven’t done for ages. Hades, Apollon (or’ bloody fucking bastard buggering Apollon’ to give it its correct name), more or less anything that involves running with regular exercises like burpees, sit-ups and so on.

Those videos that Freeletics puts on YouTube are great. People just hanging out at the local track or outdoor municipal courts. I LIVE IN THE COUNTRY. There’s nothing here. There’s a field. Actually, there are a lot of fields. None of them offers a significant advantage over another when it comes to Freeletics. Essentially, if you try doing burpees in the middle of a field, you’re going to wet and/or dirty. I don’t mind making certain sacrifices in order to keep fit, but rolling around in cow shit is not one of them. (At some point in the next few weeks, I’ll go out and take some photos of where I do my workouts so you can see what the hell I’m on about.)

I don’t mind getting out in bad weather, I’m used to it after running for these past few years. Funnily enough, I don’t mind getting dirty when I run as well. I don’t know… It just feelss like there’s a fundamental difference between running on a muddy footpath and doing push ups in puddles.

So, at the moment, and probably until the spring, I’m restricted in terms of what I can do. It’s frustrating because… whisper it… things can get a bit boring. At the moment I’m just too busy with work to spend any time doing and real planning about my Freeletics routines, and to be honest it has become a little bit of a grind. But what the hell. I’ve come this far. Not stopping now.

Anyway, week 9. Here it is. Was. Whatever.

Monday: Run, 5.6 miles at 8:38/mile pace

Tuesday: Zeus – 26:59

Wednesday: Rest

Thursday: Burpee Max – 58 (star and PB) & Deep Squat Max – 100 (star and PB)

Friday: yeees… kind of, er, didn’t really do anything

Saturday: Zeus – 25:40 (PB – now doing this quicker with proper push ups than I used to with modified ones)

Sunday: Hera – 18:27 (star and PB)

Okay, the run. I am, and I promise you that this is not an excuse, actually trying to run more slowly. The reason being I want to burn fat. The Freeletics is (or fucking well should be) sufficient to increase my cardiovascular fitness, so the running isn’t really about that. But it turns out that running slowly is actually pretty hard to do, especially if you’re used to trying to improve on times. (The sarcastic twats among you would doubtless point out that 8:38 per mile IS slow… The problem is that it’s not slow enough.)

Zeus on Tuesday, wasn’t feeing it. Zeus on Saturday, smashed the bollocks off it. Had pain. Ignored pain. But kept shouting ‘TWAT’ which seems to help. Hadn’t done a burpee max for ages so thought I’d knock one of those out, so to speak. Still aiming for 60 but happy with the PB. As for Hera… I still think there’s a lot more to come for me there. I’m aiming to get under 18 minutes in the next couple of weeks.

There we are then. I’m very aware of the fact that I’m now passed the point I reached with the Coach app. And I haven’t done a hell week yet. But what the hell, I’m in this for the long haul. I think another couple of months and I will actually try the coach again, possible with the nutrition guide as well, so that could be interesting (but don’t worry, my writing will remain as dull and formulaic as ever).

I’m going to try and stick an update on here on Sunday for this week, because from this coming Monday I’m going to be doing daily updates for seven days. Why? Because next week is [wait for it…] APHRODITE WEEK. I’m going to do Aphrodite every day for seven days and see how it goes. I’m interested to see if there’s any fluctuation in my times, and also just want to find out how hard it is to maintain that commitment. I have no doubt that I will regret this decision. So be sure to check in and laugh at my ineptitude and crapness until your bottom falls off.

So, a song then. I’m a huge fan of boxing, and this weekend sees Chris Eubank Jr take on Billy Joe Saunders on the Tyson Fury/Derek Chisora undercard. I’ve got no interest whatsoever in Tyson Fury or Derek Chisora, wouldn’t watch either of them if they put the ring in my garden. But I think Chris Eubank Jr looks special, and I’m expecting him to stop Saunders in the late rounds. Which leads me onto this, the best (sort of) boxing related song ever. Good workout tune as well. Turn it up.